


A Rose and Its Thorn

by solohux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:24:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9833939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/pseuds/solohux
Summary: 'Hanahaki disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.'





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt I got from [@redartpanda](http://redartpanda.tumblr.com/) on tumblr that I wanted to post here too.
> 
> I hope you like it! PREPARE FOR HURT. ❤️

> _\- Hanahaki Disease.  
>  “[…] An illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.”_

From the moment he meets the chaotic and woeful soul that calls himself Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux knows that he’s going to be ruined by him.

The strong stance and his power are just the drizzle in the storm that Hux finds himself in; only when the Knight removes his helmet and Hux sees the big brown doe-eyes and the dark, scraggily-yet- _full_ head of dark hair and the porcelain pale skin does Hux know that this tornado is unstoppable. And it’s headed straight for his heart.

   ///////////

It’s a slow morning on the _Finalizer’_ s bridge when the first one appears. Hux feels a tickle in his throat, his disinterest at the sensation growing into a panic when he feels as though _something_ is moving up his throat and into his mouth. He coughs, cupping both of his hands over his mouth as he gags and splutters, stopping when the _thing_ nestles onto his tongue. Striding to the side of the bridge in attempt to hide his strange behaviour, Hux plucks the odd thing from his tongue, and frowns.

It’s a _petal,_ bright orange in colour and elongated softly in shape with a gentle curl at one end. Hux stares at it for a moment, unbelieving that he’s in reality before popping the petal into his pocket for later analysis. As of now, his attention needs to be on his ship and his crew. He moves back into his position at the helm of the bridge and resumes his daydreams of Kylo.  

  ///////////

The second time it happens is only a few weeks later, and Hux is at the front of Conference Room 2A, standing tall in front of the screen that’s covered in statistics and graphs. He’s mid-sentence about possibilities to increase the accuracy of TIE-fighter shots when he feels _it._ The same sensation of something being forced up his throat and into his mouth whilst he coughs makes Hux’s presentation halt for a moment, his cheeks turning red for all his subordinates to see. Mitaka stands and passes Hux a glass of water, to which he promptly refuses, knowing that he could potentially cough the water back up _and_ spit the petal out with it. Hux covers his mouth with his hand, sighing when he feels the petal push against his lips and he pulls it out and clenches his fist around it, hiding it.

“My apologies,” Hux says, clearing his throat, eyes being drawn to the dark figure in the corner.

Kylo stands completely still, helmet on his head, hiding his _beautiful_ face from Hux’s sight, obviously indifferent that Hux has seemingly almost _choked_ in the middle of his presentation.

‘ _He doesn’t care,’_ Hux absently thinks, feeling a sadness radiate through his chest like a twisting vine, constricting his breath. ‘ _He’ll never care.’_

Regardless, Hux carries on.

  ///////////

Once Hux is back to his quarters that same evening, he goes against his better judgment and searches HoloNet for any sort of diagnosis to his strange illness.

 _‘Coughing up petals’,_ much to his dismay, comes up in the suggested search. Eagerly, he clicks on the first and most popular result, reading through it quickly. It’s a grand medical site, complete with _symptom checker,_ that seems to consolidate every known disease and illness in the galaxy, from the common cold of Adulnus Prime to the flesh-eating virus of Mulutica III.

On the second page of the _‘lung & chest problems’ _section, Hux sees the name for what he has.

Hanahaki Disease. _‘An illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flower petals—of a flower that means something to The One. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.’_

One-sided love. _Unrequited_ love.

“Kylo,” Hux whispers, voice shaking, glancing over to his orange flower petals, somehow feeling _more_ hurt by the solidification of the lack of Kylo’s feelings for him.

Idly, Hux curses him. That selfish, domineering _bastard,_ with his deep eyes and _full_ lips, giving Hux a horrendous condition such as this. He casts his eyes back down to the screen.

_‘The Hanahaki disease can be deadly. The growing flowers inside the patient’s chest cavity will eventually clog up the respiratory system and the windpipe, leading to death via suffocation.’_

Hux locks his datapad immediately, pushing it away from him.

Ironic, he thinks as tears fall down his cold cheeks, that love can quite literally kill.

 ///////////  

Gingerbell petals.

A flower that’s native to Alderaan.  

Symbolising everlasting love and consistency between partners.

Hux stares at the floating orange petals in his bathwater, knees drawn up under his chin, watching the dozen of them sail around his pale body, things that would usually represent life only signifying his looming death.

Surgery to remove the growing plant in his chest is a possibility but with it, it would remove all feelings for Kylo, and Hux shivers at the mere thought of being indifferent towards the Knight. His love for Kylo _drives_ him; not only in the sense of getting out bed at the beginning of each cycle but to _fight_ for the galaxy that Kylo deserves, that he wants.

Hux coughs, choking on another few Gingerbell petals, cradling them in his hand as though they aren’t killing him.

Though, the petals aren’t killing him, Hux supposes. Kylo is.

  ///////////

“General Hux. A word.”

The raspy sound of Kylo’s voice through his helmet sends shivers down Hux’s spine and makes his chest ache, obviously awakening the flower inside his lungs.

“What is it, Ren?” Hux replies, tone as stern as Kylo’s. It _hurts._

“The Supreme Leader wishes me to inquire about your health,” Kylo says. “He’s been alerted to the fact that you’ve been suffering from nasty coughing fits and he is concerned that you are not functioning at your optimal potential which is required.”

It’s all so formal that Hux’s head stars to ache, a little disorientated by standing so close to Kylo, feeling his gaze burrowing into his skull from behind his mask.

“I’m quite alright,” Hux answers. “The Supreme Leader needn’t be concerned. He’s—”

“What about me?” Kylo chirps back, and Hux goes wide-eyed.

“… _You?”_

Hux’s mind is sent into a flurry of ‘ _this is it’_ and ‘ _he’s worried about me’_ at the bluntness of Kylo’s words, hoping that he’s seen his last Gingerbell flower for the rest of his life.

“Yes. Should _I_ be concerned? As you very much enjoy pointing out, I’m your _co-_ commander, and I don’t wish to be struck down by whatever virus you’re insisting on keeping hidden.”

Like he’s had a slap to the face, Hux takes an unstable step backwards, physically hurt by Kylo’s selfish concerns. His cough rises quickly, chest constricting, throat being assaulted by another _damned_ petal. Hux covers his mouth quickly.

“You’re perfectly safe, Ren,” Hux says swiftly, feeling it rising. “I’d never want to bring harm to you.”

And before Kylo has the chance to spew his venom back in Hux’s face, the General brushes past him and away, heading straight off the bridge and to his own quarters, coughing loudly as he runs, though no choke is louder than the sound of his shattering heart.

  ///////////

Starkiller helps him grieve, helps him _forget._

The workload is almost as unbearable as the Gingerbell petals that Hux _still_ finds himself choking on, but as with his unrequited love, Hux copes with the demand for Starkiller’s completion. He sits alone in his office almost every evening, surrounded by hundreds of jars holding the bright orange petals, having found that seeing them in the trash only brought more sorrow to his broken and lonely heart.

At least, this way, he’s keeping flowers that obviously _mean_ something to Kylo. Therefore, they _mean_ something to Hux.

But no one more than Hux knows how something so beautiful can bring death.

And Starkiller had been _so_ beautiful.

  ///////////

Hux struggles to run through the snow and cover his mouth simultaneously, his balance being tested from the tremors that mean imminent destruction for the Base that Hux has poured his shattered heart into. But he doesn’t think about his loss now, nor does he think about the petals filling is throat or the odd and sharp pain they seem to be causing his chest.

Hux keeps his gaze firmly locked on Kylo’s prone form just up ahead, the snow stained with his blood. Hux pushes the petals back down with a firm swallow. _Not now, death._

“Ren? Ren!” Hux drops to his knees beside Kylo, stomach clenching at the sight of the poor boy’s wounded body.

“H- _Hux_?” Kylo whispers, eyes opening, still conscious. He rolls onto his back, managing to stare up at Hux. “What are you doing—?”

“You have to get up,” Hux says, sliding a hand around the underneath of Kylo’s trembling shoulders. “Starkiller is going to collapse. We have to _go!_ ”

With a groan, Kylo manages to stand with aid from Hux, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as the two trudge back through the snow to their shuttle. Once they’re halfway to safety, Hux turns his head to look at Kylo, realising that this is the closest he’s ever been to the Knight without his mask on.

Kylo has _freckles._ His eyes are darker than Hux ever remembers them being, flecks of complex brown married with lighter hues, so much strength remaining despite the years of weathering, glistening against the failing light of the planet, deep, inviting Hux to drown in them, _suffocate._

Hux stumbles, and they both fall onto their knees in the freezing snow as the sounds of Starkiller’s destruction looms closer.

“Hux! You—”

Hux feels Kylo’s eyes on him, like a searchlight in the night, every inch of him on show for his _love_ to see. Being unable to stop them, Hux coughs up petal after petal, scrunching his eyes closed to avoid seeing them fall gracefully from his mouth and onto the snowy ground.

“They—They’re _Gingerbells,_ ” Kylo whispers, staring down at the orange petals. _“_ My… _Oh. Stars, Hux.”_

Hux can’t even bring himself to look at Kylo; the pain that’s spreading through his chest is unlike anything he’s ever felt before. It’s only when he opens his eyes and moves his hand from his mouth does he see the _blood,_ staining his gloves and the snow and his beautiful petals— _Kylo’s_ beautiful petals.

There’s pressure on his windpipe and Hux is suddenly desperately pressing his palms against his neck, begging for air, _begging_ for this to be over, but the pain only worsens when Kylo’s gloved hand cups his far cheek, and Hux _screams._

“Ren, make it stop, _help me!”_ Hux cries, body trembling and throat burning.

He’s so exhausted, but, _stars,_ he’s so _close_.

One final, bloodied petal falls from Hux’s lips as everything fades to black.

  ///////////

For the first time in a _long_ time, Hux wakes up without a petal on his pillow.

He absently supposes that’s because he’s _dead,_ free from the Gingerbell plant that’s been growing inside of him, consuming his chest, _finally_ having taken his last breath away from him.

But despite the freedom to breathe, Hux has never felt more distraught.

He may have never _had_ Kylo, but at least he could love him from a far. Now? Hux knows he’s never going to see him again.

As he shifts in the bed, a small whine escapes his lips, an ache present throughout his entire body.

“Ssh, Hux, try and be still.”

Hux’s eyes open at the sound of the velvety voice that’s haunted his every moment since they first met, and his body automatically tenses, expecting his throat to be filled with an invasive petal. But instead of seeing himself in some form of afterlife, he sees that he’s in a private room in the _Finalizer’_ s medical wing, he sees _Kylo_ sitting hesitantly on the side of his bed.

“ _Ren?”_ Hux gasps, trying to process his environment. Kylo looks terrible, his skin pale and blotchy, his face wound stitched and covered in bacta, his eyes just as deep and just as _strong_ as Hux remembers. “What happened?”

“You passed out just as we got near the shuttle,” Kylo says, but he frowns, shaking his head slowly. “Hux. You had _Hanahaki.”_

“I _know.”_

“And your flower was a _Gingerbell.”_

“I’m aware, Ren.”

Hux revels in the feeling of being able to breathe properly for a moment as silence settles itself between them. He sits up slowly, manoeuvring his pillows behind him so he’s upright and comfortable, and inhales slowly. Placing his palm flat on his chest, Hux imagines a Gingerbell plant in his mind, whole and bright, free in the wild and not consuming his chest. He’s free, he’s— _free?_

Hux opens his eyes sharply, and blinks hard. He gazes at Kylo with wide eyes, gasping.

“It’s me, isn’t it?” Kylo asks quietly, _sadly_. “I’m the one killing you. Smothering you.”

Hux merely averts his eyes to the side, unable and unwilling to answer Kylo’s question verbally.

“You could have _died,_ ” Kylo says, gritting his teeth.

“Yes,” Hux says. “And that would’ve been one less burden for you.”

“Hux, that’s not—”

“Don’t, Ren. _Please_ ,” Hux says, folding his arms across his chest, feeling suddenly protective of it. “I don’t want to hear it. I’ve suffered with Hanahaki for long enough to be hurt by your hate. I can’t _hear_ how much you despise me too. This is _my_ disease. Not yours.”

“Was.”

Hux frowns. “What?”

“It _was_ your disease. It’s…been cured, according to the medics.”

Hux slowly runs his palm up his chest, stopping to feel his own beating heart, feeling it quicken when Kylo’s hand covers his own, their first _actual_ contact. Hux looks up, seeing Kylo staring at him with teary eyes, and feels a different kind of pain in his chest.

“Snoke told me you hated me,” Kylo says, scooting forwards, his hand subconsciously tightening over Hux’s. “I knew when I met you that you were _different._ But he kept _telling me and telling me_ how much you wanted me _dead_ so you could take the First Order’s glory for yourself. Said I disgusted you, said I should feel nothing but hatred towards you. _Stars,_ Armitage. I was killing you.”

After all the years of nursing his broken soul to _keep fighting,_ Hux feels as though his entire body has just been put back together at the mere _sound_ of his first name on Kylo’s lips. It’s _heaven,_ being able to breathe in time with the man he’s been suffocating for, and when Kylo leans in to kiss him, Hux _melts,_ taking air in from Kylo like he’s breaking through the surface of a dark sea.

But Hux knows he’s never going to drown again.

 ///////////

“Why _Gingerbells?”_

Hux rests his head on Kylo’s bare chest, listening to the sound of his thrumming heart. Their bodies pressed together, post-orgasm in their chambers, Kylo’s arm wrapped around Hux tightly, fearing that letting him go would mean something awful.

“I don’t know,” Kylo responds, running his fingers through Hux’s hair.

“They’re native to Alderaan, I know that much,” Hux replies, eyes glancing over to where a vase of bright Gingerbells sits on the sideboard.

“They grow on other planets too,” Kylo says. “They were one of my mother’s favourites. My father used to bring her bunches back from his trips.”

“Ah,” Hux hums in response, content with the answer, but Kylo chuckles.

“And,” Kylo says, ruffling Hux’s hair. “I like the colour.”

Hux rolls his eyes, but is _thankful_ for his ginger hair for once. His eyes drift closed, content that this is going to be his life from now own. Free and, most importantly, _with Kylo._

“Hux?”

“Hm?”

“…I love you.”

There’s a silence for a few seconds, but it isn’t heavy or burdened. It’s warm, engulfing them like a protective bubble, keeping all harm away. Hux takes a long inhale through his nose and out through his mouth, chest _free._  

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had to make it a happy ending! But if I didn't, if I'd chosen to make it as angsty and as sad as I could, then I would've had Hux have surgery to remove his Gingerbell flower, only to have Kylo start coughing up Arkanian Rose petals a few weeks later...
> 
> Also, [Gingerbells are real Star Wars flowers that Princess Leia likes!](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Gingerbell) I did my research! And seeing as there aren't any pictures or description of them, I sorta just decided that the flowers themselves would look like Bluebells! 


End file.
